I was talking to my brother-in-law the other day. We hadn't talked in awhile, and it was really fun catching up, hearing about his new job / baby / residence, telling him about our crazy lives. I asked how his new baby was doing, and what he looked like. Torrie then reminded me that there pictures on the internet, on Facebook.
I thanked her for the reminder, then continued: "I'm sorry I haven't seen the pictures, yet. I'll do it tomorrow. However, do you want to tell me what he looks like?"
He had no problem and described the little guy for me. We talked for a little longer and then ended our conversation, hoping to see each other soon. (Which would be real fun.)
However, the incident above brought up something in my mind which I think about fairly often.
The problem with facebook, blogs, etc. is that they take away some of the motivation to talk to people.
Don't get me wrong. I love keeping in contact. I love that I was able to spend five minutes this morning looking of pictures of a youth temple trip of a branch I served in while I lived in Italy. It was really cool to see some of the primary kids going to the temple.
I enjoy seeing updates of my cousins, uncles, old college friends, things like that. It makes me feel connected to them. I like that.
I like putting up a comment about Clara drinking out of a straw and getting tons of likes and comments. That's fun and makes me feel loved.
However, I do not like knowing everything in advance when I do talk to someone. Let me explain. I talked to someone today and I already knew every single thing they were going to update me about. Why? Because I had read their blog. I knew everything they were going to say. I knew the insights they had thought of. I even knew the little jokes they were going to make. I knew it all.
What an unsatisfying conversation! I didn't feel any extra connection to that person after the conversation. None of the warm glow of friendship that comes after seeing/talking to someone you hadn't in awhile.
Torrie has gone through the same thing - a conversation with someone she hadn't seen in awhile, yet nothing new came about, because it was all on facebook for everyone to see. Perhaps you have, as well.
Contrast that to a conversation I had yesterday with an old friend. Although we are pretty updated on each others lives, he asked deep questions. It wasn't just a pursory question of "How's your work going?" He asked specific questions, follow-up questions, and expressed real interest. I did the same to him as well. We talked about our families, goals, projects, etc. It was very satisfying and afterwards, I felt that I had been able to reconnect with a good friend. While this person is on facebook, and both of us post occasionally, the conversation was of much greater detail and intensely more satisfying.
So rest assured, I will not blog about everything. I will not facebook post about everything. There is more to me than meets the world wide web's eye. I would encourage you all to do the same, and if you're going to have a conversation with someone who you know looks at your facebook and/or your blog, come up with some new material as well.
